Girl on a Bus

For my dear sister  Dorothy -

Girl on a Bus

A few people

all together on a bus,

each alone.

I sit by a window

on the first of the seats

facing forward.

A girl gets on,

sits in front of me,

facing the aisle,

so I see her profile.

Pretty, in her

early twenties.

She turns to me,

“I’m going to

a job interview.”

She’s a little nervous.

“What do you think

of how I’m dressed?”

Having permission,

I lean back,

and look her over

from head to toe.

I sit up and tell her

she looks fine,

but that  there is

one more thing

she must wear.

“What?”

I lean forward,

“A smile.”

She smiles.

“Yes, just like that.

Don’t forget.”

If only I could be there

to remind her.

© Richard Gilbert 2012

The Longest Coat

My wife and I went to a local thrift shop to make a few donations. Before leaving, we looked to see what was there. You never know when you might find a spectacular bargain. This may sound a little like winning the lottery, but, like I say, you never know. One day, in fact, we did find just such a bargain: an ivory hand-knit Italian wool coat, ankle-length. It was

as-new and worth at least several hundred dollars. The price? $15. Sandy bought it without hesitation.

            A few months later we happened to visit an upscale boutique in Carmel. As Sandy wended her way through the aisles, I followed. Behind us was another shopper, petite, dark-haired, perhaps in her mid-forties and smartly dressed. Her demeanor was serious.

            Sandy paused to look at some knitted coats. She was wearing her $15 coat and I could see that they appeared to be similar to hers. When she was done looking at them, I checked them out; they were not as luxurious as hers. There were three sizes: waist-length, which were quite expensive; hip length, more expensive; and knee length, very expensive; but no ankle length like Sandy’s.

            I went back up the aisle to take another look at something and the petite lady went past me. When I returned, she was blocking my path, so I just waited behind her. She looked at the knitted wool coats and examined each price tag. As she turned to leave, she saw Sandy’s coat and stopped. She looked slowly from ankle to neck and neck to ankle and finally just stared. Apparently she did not realize I was right behind her because I heard her softly, and slowly, syllable–by-syllable, take our Lord’s name in vain.

© Richard Gilbert 2013

Product Placements

We have no need for a big estate,

a modest two and two works just great.

Have no wish for Malibu Beach,

glad Point Loma is in our reach.

Don’t want to drive a big Rolls Royce,

Something smaller would be our choice.

Forget Porsche’s 911,

I’ll just keep our old Ford revvin’.

We don’t drive to Nieman Marcus,

Target’s lot is where we park us.

I never wear Hickey-Freeman,

just wear out Dockers like a demon.

Have no need for Patek-Philippe,

a fine watch but a price too steep.

I don’t even need a Rolex,

When I’ve got my trusty Timex.

Don’t need to write with a Mont Blanc,

I’m just not a fine pen wonk.

I’ll get by with my trusty Bic

It always seems to do the trick.

I don’t need filet mignon,

But show me a burger, it’s gone.

I don’t sip pale Dom Perignon,

A glass of Sprite is just as wan.

Don’t need to make an upward move,

Doin’ just fine in my own groove.

© Richard Gilbert   October 2011

About the Following Post

An edited version of the following post was published in the February 2012 issue of The Sun, a small literary magazine.

Warning Signs

My sister Em had a long walk uphill from high school to home. One hot day she bought a cold soda near school for the trek. When she got home, a little was left, so she put it in the fridge with a note: I spit in this. Em.  Knowing anything in the fridge was fair game for each of us seven kids, she thought the note would deter us from helping ourselves to some of her drink. Later, I was in the kitchen when she went to retrieve her stash. She smiled with satisfaction as she reached for the bottle, but stopping to look at the note, frowned. She slammed the fridge door shut, poured the drink into the kitchen sink, put the empty bottle and note in the trash and stormed off to her room. I retrieved the note and found that a brother had struck; an addendum to her note said: So did I. Ben.

Under the Boardwalk

    When it’s summer we go to the beach. We always get a bungalow right on the boardwalk. You know what I used to do? I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you what I used to do. When it was morning? I’d get up early, really early. Everybody would still be in bed. They’d all still be asleep. I wouldn’t make a sound. I’d go outside, and go under the boardwalk. It’s kind of cold and damp there, but I’d just walk right under. I wouldn’t stop ’cause there’s bugs there so I’d just keep going. Big kids have to crawl under, but I don’t have to crawl ’cause I’m only four and a half, so I can stand up straight and walk right under, and I don’t hit my head.

    When I get to the other side? Guess what. There’s no one there. I’m the only one there. So I’d go to the ocean, but I wouldn’t go all the way. I’d stop, like where the beach starts to go downhill to the water. And I’d stop right there. I’d just sit down and wait for the sun to come up. I could see lifeguards way far away at the end of the beach where they have rocks. The lifeguards all have rakes, and they rake the beach every morning. Every morning I’d see them there raking the beach.

    If you watch the waves, you will see every one is different. And they just keep coming. They never stop. Pretty soon the sun would start to come up. You can’t look at it ’cause it hurts your eyes, and Dad says you will ruin your eyes if you look at it. You know how just before the sun comes up it’s sort of cool? Soon as the sun came up, it’d be warm. That sun is really warm.

    Then I’d get up and go back to the bungalow before anybody got up. Nobody knew I was gone. Not Mom, not Dad, not my brothers, not my sisters. I have two brothers and four sisters. Two of my sisters are just babies though.

    Only one day Mom caught me. She said, “Where have you been?” I told her. She said, “Don’t ever do that again.” Mom doesn’t want me to go to the beach by myself. So I can’t do that anymore. But guess what I found out. I can see the sun come up, and I don’t even have to go outside. Know how I do it? I just stand up on pillows on the sofa and look out the window. But I don’t do that any more. It’s not the same, like on the beach.

    When Mom’s cooking breakfast that’s when the iceman comes. He has this big block of ice for the icebox. He carries it with tongs, kind of like curvy scissors. It has two handles, but he only holds one handle. How come the ice doesn’t just fall right out? I don’t know. I don’t know how that works. Anyway, the iceman just puts the ice in the top of the icebox.

    Then after that we eat breakfast. The bungalow is so small we have to eat breakfast on the deck in the back, but that’s really good ’cause when you spill something, it’s ok; we just wipe it up and wash it off with the hose. After that we help Mom pack a bunch of sandwiches and lemonade with lots of ice. She chops it off the big hunk the iceman gave us. She won’t let any of us kids chop the ice; she’s afraid we might get hurt. Then we all go to the beach. Dad carries the umbrella. When we get to the beach he sticks it up. Then Dad has to read the paper; but Mom gets to watch us play.

    Now is August, and next comes September. That’s when I start school. I have to go to Kindergarten. I don’t know about Kindergarten, we’ll see. (That’s what Mom and Dad say when we ask for something, “We’ll see.”) My sister Margie says I will like it. She’s starting second grade. She said you just play with toys and draw and paint and stuff with a whole bunch of other kids. And she said you take naps. And you learn to read. But I already know how to read. Know who taught me? Guess who taught me. Me! I taught myself! When Mom read books to me, I just looked at the words by her finger, and pretty soon I figured out how to read. I just figured it out all by myself. They all thought I learned the words by memory, but then one time I read a new book, and boy were they surprised.

    There is no Kindergarten at the beach. First we have to leave the bungalow and go back to our big house where we live most of the time. Then I get to go to Kindergarten.

© Richard Gilbert   September 2011

  Ace Relations

    Bob Wilson’s first job as an engineer was at Thomas Electronics in West Orange, New Jersey, just 13 miles west of New York City.  Having just completed the circuit design of a new product, he was working with George Adams, the draftsman assigned to do the mechanical design.  Adams was a tall, slim, handsome man in his mid-twenties. Wilson, on his way in one morning, was confronted by a colleague who whispered, “Hey Bob, I notice you call George Adams, ‘Ace’.”

    “Yeah?”

    “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

    “Why not?”

    “The guy’s black.”

    “So?”

    “ Well, ‘Ace’ sort of suggests ace of spades and they sure don’t like to be called a ‘spade’.”

    “I see. Well, I don’t think there’s a problem there. If there were, he would let me know right off the bat. Oh, he wouldn’t hesitate, believe me.”

    “Well, your call. I just thought I should say something.”

    “OK, thanks, Jack.”

    Wilson thought about it. Could Adams have asked Jack to intervene? No, he and Adams had an open rapport. Most of the people in the office were engineers like Wilson himself, but Adams was different. He was an engineering draftsman, yet artistic, imaginative, even theatrical, as if a bit of Broadway had hopped the Hudson River. Wilson really enjoyed collaborating with him.

*****

    Adams once borrowed a dollar from Wilson, claiming he didn’t have any ones for the Coke machine. Each time Wilson reminded him of the debt, Adams claimed he didn’t have a dollar to spare, but would pay him back some time later, “Maybe next week.” After a month of this routine, Adams offered to pay him back in installments, thoroughly enjoying the tease: “How about a dime a week?” Wilson stopped bringing it up.

    Months later, Wilson walked up to him holding up a dollar in his left hand. “Hey, Ace, got change for a dollar?”

    “Sure thing.” Adams fished the coins out of his pocket and dropped them into Wilson’s outstretched right hand.
    Wilson put the change in his pocket, took out his wallet, and placed the dollar in it. “Thank you so very much.”  He set the wallet back in his pocket, looked at Adams and smiled patiently. Adams looked puzzled for a moment, then groaned as he lowered his head in his hands. Wilson walked off, happily leaving his colleague in his misery.

*****

    When the Engineering offices were to be moved, Adams was selected to do the layouts. He had gone through several iterations; the latest showed 12 cubicles in a long line ending at the offices of the Chief Engineer, Hans Kort, and Assistant Chief Engineer, Frederick Eagleton. Kort was tall and silver-haired, Eagleton short and balding with just a tuft of hair over each ear. Adams referred to them as “Mutt and Jeff.”

    The openings of the cubicles looked across a wide aisle to a line of windows to the outdoors. The eight-foot wide cubicles formed a string 96 feet long. One morning Eagleton and Kort came to Adams to look at the layout. “Every man has his own office,” explained Eagleton; the arrangement was his idea. “The senior engineers would be up near us and the more junior at the far end.”

    “What happens when someone leaves?” asked Kort. “Wouldn’t we have to move a lot of furniture?”

    “No,” said Eagleton, “all cubicles have the same furniture. It doesn’t move. They just move their paraphernalia. Gives them a chance to update their bulletin boards.”

    “Looks good,” said Kort. He put his hand on Adams’s shoulder. “What do you think, George?”

    Adams knew full well his opinion meant nothing, but that did not deter him. “Twelve cubicles in a line is OK. Every morning a guy can come up the aisle with a wagon and pitch a forkful of hay into each one.”

    Silence ensued. Eagleton glared at Adams. Kort slumped into a sad smile; finally he said, “Hmm, let’s see that last layout again.”

© Richard R. Gilbert    September 2011